She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
