Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
