I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
