Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
