My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
