There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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