Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize