There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
