Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
