sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
