genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
