do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
