hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
