How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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