Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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