Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
