Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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