Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
