Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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