I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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