Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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