walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
