fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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