if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize