i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
