Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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