She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
