fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My hand turned me down
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
