Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
