You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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