Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
