I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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