This is not my ceiling
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
