it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
