id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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