I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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