I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Come see our sink grown plant.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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