i may or may not be watching the land before time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize