foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
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Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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