Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
