Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
