love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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