she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
