We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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