im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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