I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My breasts were aching with rage.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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