my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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