Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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