She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
