No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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