9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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