I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
