I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
