worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
