i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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