The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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