About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize