hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
