ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's never too late to be topless.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
