Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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