Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The power of my boobs compel you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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