jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
