Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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